Joséphine — Your computer's quiet guardian angel.

🩺

Eleven checks

CPU, memory, disk, temperature, systemd, updates, network, battery, inodes, SMART & kernel.

🔔

Kind alerts

Warm, plain-language desktop notes — never ERROR / FATAL / PANIC.

🔒

Fully local

Everything runs on your machine. No cloud, no telemetry, no account.

⬆️

Self-update

josephine update fetches & installs the latest release, on request.

👀 See it in action

Run josephine for a one-screen summary. Each check shows a value and a plain state — OK, attention or critique:

$ josephine
✨ Joséphine
Your system's guardian angel
────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
  🖥️  CPU usage           24%                               [OK]
  🧠  Memory              60% (18G / 31G)                   [OK]
  💽  Disk space          21% of “/” (195G / 937G)          [OK]
  🌡️  Temperature         74°C                              [OK]
  🛡️  Critical services   All services running              [OK]
  🔄  Updates             30 updates available              [!] WARNING
  🌐  Network             10 ms (gateway)                   [OK]
  🔋  Battery             99 % (plugged in)                 [OK]
  🗂️  Inodes              4% of “/”                          [OK]
  🐧  Kernel              0 incidents (1 h)                 [OK]

josephine doctor explains it check by check, with per-metric bars and the top processes. josephine history shows 24-hour min / avg / max with sparkline trends: ▁▂▄▇▅▃.

💬 Notifications you'll actually read

No jargon, no panic. Joséphine speaks like a calm friend — and always tells you the exact command to dig deeper.

✨

Your disk is at 91% — it's coughing a little. Even in heaven, storage isn't unlimited. I can help you see what's piling up: josephine doctor.

✨

Goodness… 97% CPU. Your machine is running faster than I can flap my wings — and that's no compliment. josephine doctor, quick.

✨

Your battery is back to strength (or you're plugged in). Phew — I breathe easier too.

📖 Commands

josephinea one-screen summary of every check
josephine doctordetailed diagnostics, check by check (-v for more)
josephine history24-hour min/avg/max with sparkline trends
josephine reporta dated, plain-text health report (-o to a file)
josephine cleanpreview reclaimable disk space (--apply to clear caches)
josephine fixguided remediation for failed services / low disk
josephine updatecheck for & install a newer version
josephine daemon startrun the background watcher
josephine config editopen the config in $EDITOR, then re-validate

Deeper docs live in the repository — Architecture · Current state · Roadmap. Your configuration lives at ~/.config/josephine/config.yaml (created on first run), and history under ~/.local/share/josephine/.

🕊️ Install

Grab a package from the latest release:

# Debian / Ubuntu
sudo dpkg -i josephine_*_amd64.deb

# Fedora / RHEL
sudo rpm -i josephine-*.x86_64.rpm

Prefer to build it yourself? cargo install --git https://github.com/systm-d/josephine josephine (Rust 1.85+).

To keep Joséphine watching across reboots, enable the bundled systemd user unit:

systemctl --user enable --now josephine

✨ Joséphine is a guardian angel, not a dashboard. She stays out of your way, keeps her voice warm, and only speaks when it helps — made with ♥ for people who'd rather their computer simply took care of itself.

Joséphine speaks English by default — set language: fr in the config for her French voice. The warm guardian-angel tone is preserved in both.